Over the past few months I have had some of those "mommy" moments that have truly humbled me. You know those ones where you are standing there while everything else is going on around you and you think to yourself, this is my life. And, then you ask, is this where I pictured myself to be when I was planning my future as a child, teen and adult? I really don't remember exactly how I pictured it all, but I think I've come pretty close to where I thought I wanted to be. I can honestly say that I am TRULY happy with my life.
I look at my daughter and son and I have all kinds of emotions. Emotions that instill joy right to my core and emotions that make me almost ill with fear. I go to bed thinking about them, I dream about them and I wake up thinking about them. I pray for them and for myself as their mother in hopes that I can help them be the people they are meant to be. Good people. People who love and want to serve other people. People who love their Father in Heaven.
I am grateful these little people start out at just that, little people. They are so forgiving of their inexperienced mother. A mother who sometimes isn't quite as patient with the 100 why's as she ought to be. A mother who might not always have the energy or desire to play restaurant, puzzles and princess one more time. A mother who sometimes raises her voice in frustration when she has asked ten times for her to pick up her toys or put on her shoes when we're in a hurry. Thankfully, in her eyes I am her "person". The one she looks to. The one who she wants to laugh at all her jokes even when they don't make sense. The one she tells her secrets and troubles to. The one she so easily forgives. The one who keeps her safe and can make things better. I am grateful and humbled that I am that person. I always want to be that person for her. And I am so grateful for Joey. He's the one who smiles at me regardless of what I do. He looks at me like I am his world and he is mine. He can make my mood soar with his little shy flirty grin. I love how he lets me squish kisses into his chubby cheeks and how he tries to kiss back with his slobbery open mouth!
Really, honestly, is there anything better in this world than being a mother?
I am grateful to a mother who has gone through all these same emotions for me. I am grateful for the things she taught and retaught again and again. I am only beginning to understand the millions of sacrifices that she glady made for me. Because I know I will gladly make them for my own babies. There really are no words to describe the value I place on my mother and her friendship. I love you mom!
Not the best quality picture. Sorry!
P.S. Congrats mom on your graduation! I am so proud of you! You are truly my hero!
2 comments:
Oh you totally made me cry! That is the sweetest thing to hear. There is no better gift than to be a mother.....we are so blessed! You are such a good mom - you have two very lucky children. Hope you have a happy Mother's Day! (Thanks for the chat yesterday - it was fun.)
Hey Melissa, this is Lillie, Erin's friend. I just remembered that I'd meant to get back to you, sorry it took a bit. I do have the D40 and it came with the 18-55 and the 55-200 zoom. However, I've spent a lot of time on this girl Allie's blog (it's linked on mine) and she gives a lot of tips, one being that her favorite lens is a fixed focal length lens (it doesn't zoom) with a wide aperture, or low f-stop. So the last couple of months I've been using a 50mm f/1.8 that I got for just $100, but the huge bummer is, it doesn't Auto focus with the D40. We have to have AF in the lens, since it's not in the body. So my husband JUST got me the 30 mm f/1.4. Way more expensive unfortunately (it's like $400yikes) but an even wider aperture which supposedly means brighter, sharper pictures, and more ability to get good "bokeh", (one thing in focus like baby toes while the rest is blurry and out of focus. I feel silly writing all of this since I'm just copying what I've read on Allie's blog :), but I know how much I wanted to know. Email me at lillie_biesinger@yahoo.com if you have any other questions!
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