Change

Lately, I feel like my world is widely spinning out of control and I just can't keep up. At least not the way I would like to. I'm a creature of habit and change can sometimes throw me for a loop. I would like to say that I can easily adapt to new situations, but that wouldn't be entirely true. So, here I am venting my "change" frustrations to "the blog." I'm not sure "the blog" even cares, but it always feel good to put some things down on paper even if it is "cyber" paper. It makes me feel like I have some control.

Last week my good friend and her family completed this crazy process of becoming a doctor and they moved...across the country! I am sad. I miss her. Katie misses her children terribly. She keeps asking when we will move to Minnesota so she can play with them. I think of all the people who have come in and out of my life and miss them. Some we have kept in touch with and others not as I would have liked. I have come to the realization that we are truely on the downhill run of this whole residency world. Which also means no one will be telling us where to go for the next 4-5 years. We actually have to pick and agree on somewhere to live. It also means I will have to say goodbye to friends and start all over again! Not so fun. Although it is still 2 years away I know it will come quickly and so I want to make the best of the time I have here.

Katie has decided to spread her wings a little too wide lately. She has grown by leaps and bounds in the last few months. She is becoming more of a person which is awesome, but at the same time I apparently am not as smart as I was 2 months ago. Darn it!!! So needless to say if anyone has new discipline tactics for extremely stubborn 4 1/2 year old please share.

Joey is growing like a weed and talking and talking. This week has brought the beginning stages of tantrums. He is on his way to earning his own time out chair. Fun for us!

And, I have been spoiled the last few months with Todd's schedule. The last few weeks he has been here less in the evenings and is more tired than he's been in a while. Makes it a little hard for some good conversation in the evenings. We did have an awesome date a few weekends ago and it was awesome. Dinner without children is so relaxing and tastes so much better. We talked for hours about everything. I was reminded how much I love him. But, at the same time, it reminds me how much I miss him awake, pager-less and totally mine.

Then there's the whole photography business. To start or not to start a full blown business. There are days when I am absolutely sure it's what I want and love and then there are days where I am content with it the way it is. I suppose its all in how I decide to run it, but if I commit I commit full force. And, do I really have the time it deserves. I don't want to be spread too thin and I'm already walking a fine line right now.

Finally, the time has come to sell my car. The car with several dramatic breakups, college woes, a marriage, three cross country moves, two babies and a whole lot more. We have been through a lot together. It's hard to think about her not being in the driveway. She's like my comfort blanket. She's been good to me. So, if any of your would like to buy her let me know. She deserves a good home.

So, here's to change and the hope than I can survive and enjoy it all.

Craziness

This is what I've been up to. Life has been crazy this last week or so. I've finally caught up. Hooray!

Mother's Day!

It felt like mother's day this year more than any other year. Katie has become very aware of holidays and adores celebrating them. She had asked me several times a day last week how many "minutes" until mother's day? She just couldn't wait to give me her "special present" she made at preschool. She was thrilled to go with daddy to pick out just the right thing for me. I felt special.

I am amazed at how my love can continue to grow for these precious souls I've been given. They are the light of my life. It really is quite impossible for me to recall what life was like before.

~I'm quite sure I had never counted to ten in my head so many times a day
~I'm certain we did not have a timeout chair
~I enjoyed my showers and sleeping in on Sundays
~Pretty sure my house was clean


On the flip side

~I never knew my capacity to love
~I have an unbelievable amount of gratitude for my own mother
~I would sacrifice anything for them
~I love my husband more than the day I married him
~I never knew how much joy could come from a smile
~"I love you mommy" melt my heart

I would fill my home with many many children if I could!
Happy Mother's Day!

A terrifying Bee and some baseball!

We headed to the ballpark on Monday night for some baseball action. That is, if you can even refer to baseball as an action packed sport! Good thing my husband doesn't read our blog or I would be in a serious timeout after a statement like that!) I've tried to like the sport, but it's just a little slow for me~too much standing. I'll admit I did carve out a soft spot for it while we lived in Seattle. But if we're being honest it was probably the fresh sea breezes and clam chowder that gave me that soft spot! Anyway, there we were at the Bees game with Amy and Bry, hotdogs, an ant quilt and some fresh spring time air watching people stand in a field!

During the first inning Katie spotted the bee and from then on it was an all out effort by everyone to get the bee's attention. She was dying to meet the bee. Joey seemed pretty excited about the bee as well until he arrived a row in front of us. Of course, Katie was absolutely thrilled that he came to see her and proceeded to hive five and hug the bee. At this point Joey is crying in terror and shaking like a leaf. Thankfully, the bee had other children as eager as ours to visit and off he went. Joey continued to keep a close on the bee and continued to whimper until it was out of sight.

Periodically through the night Joey would let out a whimper and burrow into my chest. It took me a bit to catch on and then I noticed every time the bee would appear in the distance this was his behavior. Now by distance I mean 50 to 100 yards! I know, RIDICULOUS! We definitely know the kids has good eyes. Seriously, the bee was outside the ballpark fence and the kid was shaking and crying.

He is still so terrified and knows the word so well now that if anyone says the word, "bee" his face immediately changes. You can literally see the terror in his eyes as he frantically pans around looking for the dreaded bee. Oh, what to do with our poor boy. Ducks and large friendly bees. Who would have guessed these could be so terrifying!